Between my last conservation job and this one I spent a year unemployed and job searching. I refused to give up and kept at it though as this is the job I want to be doing. I did odd-jobs to make ends meet while I searched.
I also had no place to live, but I am handy and good company and several friends were happy to help with providing me a place to stay during all that.
Almost everyone I know actually working in conservation has a similar story. The difference is that the ones working in the field persevered, even if they had to sometimes take other jobs and do other things to make ends meet. Even when you do land a job in this field it generally pays poorly. That’s just the truth of the matter.
When I finally landed my current job I had just enough cash for a final tank of gas for my car and to pay for my visa to move to the country my job is in. Ticket flight was covered by the job.
Again, it’s not a matter of “being let in”. This is a field that is extremely competitive to get into as so many people now want to be part of it. Very few people get paid jobs in this field directly out of university. That’s the exception, not the rule. On top of that, the economy is terrible and has been for a while, so that makes job hunting even more difficult, especially in this field.
The more you write here the more is sounds like you’re speaking primarily out of bitterness at having had unrealistic expectations not met.
Stop looking in conservation for a while. Look for a different field for a bit, get your life back in line, get some experience and get involved in conservation activities on the side if you want to.
As a final piece: there is nothing wrong or bad about changing or delaying tour goals. I’ve had a lot of different types of jobs, some that I liked, some that I hated, but you can still do those and keep a larger goal in mind.
Talk with your friends and family (whichever is more supportive), look for some work of any kind, so that you put some money in your pocket and feel like you’re taking agency of your life back over. You can always change the job later, so don’t worry much about what it is, just having something to do makes a really big difference.
Being frustrated, depressed, angry, etc is normal when things don’t go your way and get difficult, but how you respond to those stresses is what makes the real difference. Don’t give up, and look for support to help you out.