people can listen to you, and disagree any way. It is not logically sound to say that the only sign of someone’s having listened to you is that they then do what you tell them to do.
I agree with yalls core ideals, but as an individual I believe that it is impossible to force someone to change. you can explain, you can beg, you can scream, but you cannot forcibly make anyone have a belief or do something… short of actual force.
I’ve been through all sorts of hell and abuse myself. I’m not saying that as an excuse, I’m saying that in an attempt to show that I do understand, emotionally, viscerally, where you may be right now.
I used to stand where you are, terrified to my very core by the very real and powerful forces that are coming to bear on queer people in the West. I have had times where I viewed any person who was not perfectly aligned with my values as supporting the enemy. but that’s paranoia, anxiety and ptsd talking. if you want to live outside the confines of safe spaces, you have to learn to trust a little. believe they mean well even when they’re royally fucking up. you have to meet people where they are. yelling will only scare them away.
there’s a lot of people in these threads who don’t even know what dysphoria is. people who don’t know the 101. I appreciate the links to basic resources. and I agree – and have stated as such – that the problematic posts are misgendering. but the cost of interacting with a cishetnormative world is patience.
the mod team here are not DeSantis’s little cronies come to take you to jail. they’re people who believe yall have the right to be treated with grace and kindness. but they’re also beholden to their own bosses, to capitalism that makes it impossible to risk your job by snapping back, by many forces, and I know they are actively doing what they can to learn and improve.
also, a lot of private messages are being exchanged in an attempt to promote growth and conversation. it may shock you, but some people log in only once a day… every other day… less?
this also includes me, behind the scenes, talking to the other mods, explaining terms they don’t know, even pushing back on some of their decisions, and asking them to have compassion for people like nonbinary-naturalist. it’s scared and in pain and those feelings are completely real, completely valid. and, it has also posted quite a few things here which are inappropriate for the forum. both those things can be true at once.
as for the flags… long term clean up will have to be done, to ensure fairness and consistency. a lot of stuff is getting flagged. a lot of people are getting mad. and only staff are paid to do this, and even they have very limited time and are in USA timezones.
when Zooey Zephyr called out her Republican colleagues for having blood on their hands, she was being literal – lives are at stake in Montana, and lives have been lost. strong language was more than warranted, especially as she knew her words were falling on deaf and hateful ears. she was thrown out of the chambers and told she was inciting a riot. for that.
that is not where we are. when you speak on this forum, the people who are listening do care. the stakes are real, but they are about hurt feelings. yes, hurt feelings that worsen existing pain and trauma. but lashing back against people who at their core want you to be happy, healthy, and free… is not the same. flagged or hidden comments or temporary suspension from a forum are not the same as laws that deny you basic human rights. and I assure you, the mod team is using a light hand here.
the world is messy and complicated and I swear to you I am doing what I hope will create the greatest safety and well-being of my community. I promise. I don’t want to throw anyone under any bus. You can be angry at me, and you can say anything you want about me. I chose my name, Astra, from “per aspera ad astra”, because I want to be a source of light and love and compassion. there’s so much darkness and fear in the world. I’ve been through so much fear and pain. I’m going to do what I can for every queer person out there. and every marginalized person, including those who are neurodivergent, people of colour, everyone. I didn’t only choose “astra”, I chose the whole phrase because I too acknowledge the tortures I underwent – per aspera, through suffering. I know I’m going on, and I know I’m a mod and whatever, but I swear to you I do care about each of you and I think of you as a complete person. To the best of my ability.