Faint-spotted palthis moth, what are you doing. That…that thing sticking from your head. Is that some kind of fresh funky Gen-Z hairstyle? Are you doing that thing in cartoons where they’re about to kiss someone and their puckering lips grow very long? Please tell me you don’t use it for mating purposes, because even if they didn’t starve to death a week after emerging, every lady moth would rather do that than touch you.
Look at this Ceuthophilus. Can’t even get Research Grade. Probably on account of that garish color scheme and those thunder-thighs. Can you even fit through doorways with those muttons? If you were my conscience, I’d go to therapy to get you expunged. I’ll CBT your sorry butt to next year, you weta-wannabe.
It’s easy to just look at someone and say “you look like crap,” but you literally look like crap, soybean looper moth. Sure you kinda resemble the little nuggets of delight squirrels leave on my fenceposts, and sure that’s a defense measure, but why can’t you be like your leafhopper friends and resemble something a bit more aesthetically pleasing? Are you an artist practicing neo-uglism or whatever trendy nonsense is plaguing the art world today? If there’s one thing I hate more than ugly insects, it’s pretentious insects. Get swatted.
Oh God. Oh Jesus no. Adolescent pictures are often unkind in retrospect, but you literally look like an alien, spring fishfly. You look like you’re about to burrow into my skin and then have twelve others like you pop out. And don’t give me that “ugly duckling” nonsense - it was a hot spell at the end of January when I took this picture, so it’s very likely you didn’t survive the subsequent cold to see your “true adult self” come out. Poor planning.
You got a little something on your lip, eastern tawny-horned spider wasp. Oh wait…that’s just you? Daaaaang! Every heard of a razor? Shaving cream? Lookin’ like you’re about to leave a damsel tied up on the train tracks with that 'stache. Ladies enjoy a little tickle when they lean in for a kiss, but they don’t want to choke on that thing. Get some help.
I have never seen a more goofy-looking animal, broad-tipped conehead. Do I even have to try? The word “conehead” is in your name, for God’s sake! But whatever, as long as I’m here: Your body literally looks like a dunce cap and your head is weighed down from all the stupid. I bet if you had a voice you’d sound just like Hugh Neutron, minus the charisma. Chin up, buddy…if you can manage it, that is!