As a naturalist, I wish that I had... [Dr. Seuss tribute]

Nature Talk
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Have you ever wished that you sometimes had, even temporarily, something from one of the organisms you’ve observed (or hope to observe) that would help make observing much easier or much more successful?

This made me think of Dr. Seuss’ classic tale and I thought it would be fun to paraphrase some parody. So please jump in. With duck feet, kangaroo feet, whatever works for you!

I wish that I had buzzard eyes,
The sharpest eyes around
I could spot the neatest plants and creatures
On the other side of town!

I think I’d watch my list explode
and record books I’d fill.
I’d owe it all to my great eyes
(and lunching on roadkill).

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Yeah, eyesight like hawks and eagles would be very useful to spot animals hidden in the vegetation, otherwise hard for human eyes to see.

But a camouflage like an octopus or a cuttlefish should work great to photograph wildlife!

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Not so much for observation purposes, but just earlier today I posted a video of a snail retracting it’s eyes on instagram, and I captioned it “simple hack for avoiding eye contact.”

Having retractable snail eyes would be my neurodivergent dream-come-true!

Also this book was one of my kids favorites, probably the one bedtime story I repeated the most. I still have the entire poem memorized. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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The main one I’d want is being fluent in all languages. In a naturalist context this opens to door to an immense amount of valuable local knowledge.

Other than that? Flying and breathing water. There are all sorts of interesting things up in tree canopies and on cliffs, so being able to fly would be great to investigate those. Same underwater.

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Hands and feet
That stick so sweet
To anything I wish
Never weak
Climb anything with a swish!

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Flying, to move long distances, or at least a car, and yeah, breathing underwater and being able to cope with any depth, thus exploring deep ocean (in a safe suit).

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I wish I had a swallow’s wings,
Swift wings so I could fly,
I’d zip so low I’d brush the grass,
Then zoom up in the sky.

I’d follow errant butterflies,
Then swoop down low to see
The dainty, hov’ring hummingbird,
The buzzy bumblebee.

I’d fly in swift, tight circles
'Round the vixen by her den,
Take a couple pics for iNat,
Then fly right off again.

I know I didn’t have to make that poetry but I couldn’t resist. :)

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Just to be able to eat
All the things a turkey vulture can eat
So my immune system can think
Roadkill is a tasty treat
But when I’m hot
I don’t want to poop on my feet

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No, of course not. But I’m so glad that you did! Now as to how you’d manage to carry a camera…

“Laden, or unladened?”

(A nod to all other MPFC fans)

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Yes, that’s a good question. Maybe I’d have arms as well. :)

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Gecko?

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Maybe we could later do a “what would be your first choice as an ‘Animorph’?”.

I was thinking of my choice – vulture eyes, and I had this curious thought that was prompted by your response:
“Looking through a camera zoom, would things look really ‘fuzzy’ to a vulture or raptor’s eyes?”

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I would like to be able to turn on great night vision. Night vision that sees infrared and ultraviolet and any other useful wavelengths. I would really like to gently explore for those nocturnal creatures that live mostly by night.

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T-shirt, right?

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Omg, I’m assuming you made that? :joy:

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(but the photo mockup, not an actual shirt?)

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That’s what I’m assuming too

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Just some Photoshop phun.

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I’d like to have fish lungs, so I could stay underwater for hours. Think of the cleaner shrimp I could meet!

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Think of how much more easily you could study the forest canopy if you had Spiderman’s web-slinging abilities.