What if you find a flaw in the fairy moth’s taxonomy? What if you asked to talk to Corvus, expecting that you would be able to talk to jackdaws, only to find that the fairy moth only included crows in Corvus. What if you argue that you should be able to talk to jackdaws, as you consider them to be part of Corvus?
Perhaps I would ask to speak to Struthio, according to the 10th Edition of Systema Naturae. And argue that since it’s polyphyletic, I should be able to speak to the smallest clade that includes all Struthio, namely, Neornithes.
What would the fairy moth do if you ask to speak to a genus they consider invalid?
If you were to ask some caterpillars, they would say that taxonomic family is a real entity. I still remember reading a butterfly book published before the current taxonomy – in listing out host plants, there were several where it listed out several species which were then considered to be in the snapdragon family, “and plantain.” Now, those former members of the snapdragon family are in the plantain family. Looks like a real entity to me.
Quercus: Especially the elder grandfather and grandmother trees. But they do have a different sense of time than humans so patience (and humility) is required.
Maybe the Cyanobacteria. (OK I’m cheating here there are more than one genus of these. If I have to limit myself, you pick one of these; Cyanobacterium, Trichodesmium, Prochlorococcus or Synechococcus). These were the ancient organisms, who over a billion year time span, converted the Earth’s atmosphere from principally methane and carbon dioxide, to the oxygen rich one we enjoy today. In doing so, the Cyanobacteria made possible the biological diverse planet we know today, at the same limiting themselves to a handful of dull, anaerobic ecosystems. There are people today, Al Gore, Greta Thunberg et al. who predict that humans are following a similar fatal trajectory through our greenhouse gas emissions. Would the Cyanobacteria be able to persuade us not to make the same mistakes they did?, Or perhaps they could comfort us with the fact that our despoiling the planet may provide a more richer, biologically diverse world in the distant future? I guess this would all depend on the capacity of archaic single celled organisms’ ability to engage in philosophical discussion.
I haven’t answered the question because it’s so hard to choose. I definitely understand the ones who picked Quercus. If I still lived in California, I would be inclined to pick Sequoia. There are just so many genera whose lives I would love to understand better – from reviled but intelligent Rattus to well-traveled Pantala. I still can’t decide on just one.
Chloroplasts are former Cyanobacteria! Does that mean you can talk to all algae and plants?
Cyanobacteria poisoned the anaerobic atmosphere and killed off many species that were strictly anaerobic. Some species developed a mechanism to destroy the dioxygen (cellular respiration), others captured the cyanobacteria, which turned into chloroplasts.
Pinus longaeva would be more interesting to talk about longevity with.
Would you like to eat bread made from your children?
No, but oaks have developed a different view of that issue. The wise old ones have been nourished for centuries by soil conditioned and fertilized largely from leaves provided by themselves and their neighbors, as well as from the scraps of acorns left under them by birds and other animals.
Some old oaks with snags might have another interesting situation with regard to some of their own acorns …
It is possible that on that basis, my favorite oaks, upon realizing my intentions, would not respond at all to my attempts at conversation. In that case, I would need to find solace in a backup plan for a shared meal with a different genus. In order to avoid the possibility of a second disappointment, I might choose a genus that is nearly certain to respond, namely Psittacus, which includes the African Grey Parrot (Psittacus erithacus). In that event, I would ask the genus for suggestions, and we might agree upon a shared meal of crackers.
Being able to communicate with humans would be great.
Half the time I have no idea what they are doing.
seriously, I have always struggled with communicating with people. I do ok-ish sometimes, but there are so many things I don’t know how to tell people and so many things they say and do that make 0% sense to me.
Not even considering that I would be able to speak/sign any language, this would be amazing.
This brings up a question.
Do animals of the same species in different areas have different languages?
Could a Japanese maple sprouted and raised in the USA and a Japanese maple brought over from Japan as a bonsai share their stories? Could they understand?
Would they bond over trimming trauma? Would the bonsai be able to learn to talk to local plants and would the lawn be the greatest sympathizers?
Some of the larger cephalopods (it doesn’t really matter whether GPO or Humboldt squid; Giant squid and Colossal squid live in the deep sea so I’d have to talk to them over phone). But maybe the latter two would require first that we start hunting spermwhales again before they talk to us (supposedly a Giant squid attacked a Greenpeace ship a few years ago).
