Poof! You can now only insult people using animal names. What will you be using?

Nature Talk
1

The wizard butterfly has cursed you, and all you can do about it is call him a fluffy-backed tit-babbler. Now what?

2

Here in Mexico a very famous singer called ā€˜ā€˜Paquita la del barrioā€™ā€™ (paquita from the neighbourhood/suburb/town?) passed away a few weeks ago. She was very well known for her unique songs dedicated to unsuccessful relationships and coward men, with quite direct and cynical lyrics.

Her most famous song, titled ā€˜ā€˜Rata de dos patasā€™ā€™ (two-legged rat in Spanish), is full of insults mentioning animals:

  • Rata inmunda (unclean rat)
  • Animal rastrero (creeping animal)
  • Maldita sabandija (cursed/damned creeping bug/vermin)
  • Rata de dos patas (of course, as I said, two legged rat)
  • Maldita sanguijuela (cursed/damned leech)
  • Maldita cucaracha (cursed/damned cockroach)
  • Porque un bicho rastrero, aun siendo el mĆ”s maldito, comparado contigo, se queda muy chiquito (because a creeping bug, even the most cursed/damned, is very little compared to you)
  • AlimaƱa (vermin)
  • Culebra ponzoƱosa (venomous snake)
  • Hiena del infierno, cuĆ”nto te odio y te desprecio (hyena from hell, I hate you and despise you so much)

And there are many other more brilliant insults in that song unrelated to animals.

3

Iā€™d call him a little egret, or a Dongfish.

4

Dog Vomit Slime Mold comes to mind https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/235434021 (which needs ID, by the way)
and Dog Sick Slime Mold https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/233213945
which makes me think that thereā€™s a lack of imagination when it comes to the various forms of pet ejecta.

5

I once told a random stranger bumping into me and spilling coffee on me ā€˜dumb black-crowned central american squirrel monkeyā€™ :joy:
I sometimes use the ā€˜surnia ululaā€™ name in my insults, as well as ā€˜caracaraā€™.

6

Oh my gosh! I had the lyrics captioned, Iā€™d never heard this lovely tune beforeā€¦ Iā€™m still laughing! I canā€™t carry a tune in a bucket, but Iā€™m going to have to do my best to learn this one! Thanks for cracking up my morning!

7

Oh, if there are only animal names then I canā€™t use bastard toadflax, or even lesser broomrape.
How about stupid treehopper? Or better yet, European starling!! :smiling_face_with_horns:

8

How dare you insult the starling, you Spiny lumpsucker! You-You chicken turtle!

Lol , this thread makes me happier than a pleasing fungus beetle.

9

My new favorite fibsh : the boop-boops.

10

A few more : May the power of god defy you, you satanic leaf-tailed gecko! You strange tailed TYRANT! You Bone-Eating Snot Flower Worm! Go eat a fried-egg jellyfish, you Screaming Hairy Armadillo!

I donā€™t have many enemies, but the ones I do have better beware, for I have unlocked a new form of POWER!

11

I say call 'em a tick. Might be misheard, thoughā€¦

12

ā€œDickcisselā€ anyone?

13

You think youā€™re so smart, you, youā€¦ homo sapien!

(Can you think of anything considered more insulting to more lifeforms than this?)

14

How about ignorant musk ox?

15

Hoary marmot

16

The starlings are evil here in North America.

17

Thatā€™s cute!

18

Oh, I had no idea. I apologize for being a Allium rude. Here in India Starlings are pretty chill though.

19

Iā€™d take it as a great compliment if someone called me that.

20

Yeah, theyā€™re invasive gobs of glittery greed.