Poof! You can now only insult people using animal names. What will you be using?

Nature Talk
1

The wizard butterfly has cursed you, and all you can do about it is call him a fluffy-backed tit-babbler. Now what?

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Here in Mexico a very famous singer called ā€˜ā€˜Paquita la del barrioā€™ā€™ (paquita from the neighbourhood/suburb/town?) passed away a few weeks ago. She was very well known for her unique songs dedicated to unsuccessful relationships and coward men, with quite direct and cynical lyrics.

Her most famous song, titled ā€˜ā€˜Rata de dos patasā€™ā€™ (two-legged rat in Spanish), is full of insults mentioning animals:

  • Rata inmunda (unclean rat)
  • Animal rastrero (creeping animal)
  • Maldita sabandija (cursed/damned creeping bug/vermin)
  • Rata de dos patas (of course, as I said, two legged rat)
  • Maldita sanguijuela (cursed/damned leech)
  • Maldita cucaracha (cursed/damned cockroach)
  • Porque un bicho rastrero, aun siendo el mĆ”s maldito, comparado contigo, se queda muy chiquito (because a creeping bug, even the most cursed/damned, is very little compared to you)
  • AlimaƱa (vermin)
  • Culebra ponzoƱosa (venomous snake)
  • Hiena del infierno, cuĆ”nto te odio y te desprecio (hyena from hell, I hate you and despise you so much)

And there are many other more brilliant insults in that song unrelated to animals.

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3

Iā€™d call him a little egret, or a Dongfish.

4

Dog Vomit Slime Mold comes to mind https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/235434021 (which needs ID, by the way)
and Dog Sick Slime Mold https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/233213945
which makes me think that thereā€™s a lack of imagination when it comes to the various forms of pet ejecta.

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5

I once told a random stranger bumping into me and spilling coffee on me ā€˜dumb black-crowned central american squirrel monkeyā€™ :joy:
I sometimes use the ā€˜surnia ululaā€™ name in my insults, as well as ā€˜caracaraā€™.

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6

Oh my gosh! I had the lyrics captioned, Iā€™d never heard this lovely tune beforeā€¦ Iā€™m still laughing! I canā€™t carry a tune in a bucket, but Iā€™m going to have to do my best to learn this one! Thanks for cracking up my morning!

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7

Oh, if there are only animal names then I canā€™t use bastard toadflax, or even lesser broomrape.
How about stupid treehopper? Or better yet, European starling!! :smiling_face_with_horns:

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How dare you insult the starling, you Spiny lumpsucker! You-You chicken turtle!

Lol , this thread makes me happier than a pleasing fungus beetle.

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9

My new favorite fibsh : the boop-boops.

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10

A few more : May the power of god defy you, you satanic leaf-tailed gecko! You strange tailed TYRANT! You Bone-Eating Snot Flower Worm! Go eat a fried-egg jellyfish, you Screaming Hairy Armadillo!

I donā€™t have many enemies, but the ones I do have better beware, for I have unlocked a new form of POWER!

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11

I say call 'em a tick. Might be misheard, thoughā€¦

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12

ā€œDickcisselā€ anyone?

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13

You think youā€™re so smart, you, youā€¦ homo sapien!

(Can you think of anything considered more insulting to more lifeforms than this?)

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14

How about ignorant musk ox?

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15

Hoary marmot

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16

The starlings are evil here in North America.

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17

Thatā€™s cute!

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18

Oh, I had no idea. I apologize for being a Allium rude. Here in India Starlings are pretty chill though.

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19

Iā€™d take it as a great compliment if someone called me that.

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20

Yeah, theyā€™re invasive gobs of glittery greed.

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