Anyone have any animal puns?

Anybody got any good (or not so good) or nerdy animal puns that they like? I’ve had some bird pun wars with my friends in the past, has anyone else had this experience?

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There is a section of one of the longer threads which is a back-and-forth pun war. Mostly birds. I think it’s either in Funny, long, or just plain weird animal names it else You know you’re seriously into iNat when

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There’s a really bad joke I remember from when I was a little kid:

  • A duck, a frog, and a skunk were going to the country fair, but it cost a dollar to get in. The duck got in because he had a bill, the frog got in because he had a greenback, but the poor skunk didn’t get in because he only had a (s)cent, and it was a bad one too. < cue groans >

Also:

  • Why are elephants such good travellers?
  • They always have their trunks with them. < more groans >

Or:

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  • No eye-deer?
  • How about a deer with no eyes and no legs?
  • Still no eye-deer?
  • And a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals?
  • Still no f****** eye-deer.

Maybe:

  • Why do giant pandas like old movies?
  • Because they’re black-and-white. (there are a few animals that could work with)

I think I’ll stop there before I get banned for making terrible jokes.

There are a lot of animal names that lend themselves to puns, often of a sexual nature. My favorite is the Imperial Shag, but Great Tits, Boobies, Cock-of-the-Rock, and Dik-Diks are often popular subjects for puns and jokes.

Other animals that are popular for puns are Horse, Cheetah, Toucan, Shellfish, Gopher, etc

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There’s also the Silly names that are actually in use for animals topic I started a while back. Lots of puns and silly stuff in there too.

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If only I gnu!

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As Zazu the hornbill pointed out, “Cheetahs never prosper.”

But the real master of puns – animal-related and otherwise – was Piers Anthony, in his Xanth novels. In Xanth, besides centipedes, there are nickelpedes, dimepedes, quarterpedes (which are particularly bad because when they bite, they take two bits of flesh), and, yes, dollarpedes.

And plenty of other punny critters, too.

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(c) Gary Larson

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Doe I ever!

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The Menai Bridge butcher is selling eight legs of venison for £70. Do you think that is two dear?

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Sh*t. Got it wrong. Do you think that is too dear?

You can edit your post, just click on the pencil icon.

Thanks, but I can live with the embarrassment.

A herpetologist was taking his pet for a walk. His neighbour looked over the fence and said “Its not very big.”
“No” said the herpetologist, “its minute.”

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I wish I had some good puns! If I said I did,
I’d be lion.:smirk:

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How do you catch a unique bird? Unique up on it!

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This is ape-solutely a great topic. There’s already some fawn-cy contributions and some un-frog-gettable jokes.

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I love puns. I am a otterly (utterly) addicted pun guy. Always puns and jokes.

What ant is Bruce Lee’s brother?
Pheido-lee (Pheidole)

Which ant is the greatest computer geek?
Techno-myrmex (Yes there is actually a genus of ants called Technomyrmex)

What spiders are collected from seawater?
Salt-icidae (Jumping Spiders, Salticidae), of course!

What orthopteran has a surprisingly human name?
Katy-dids (Katydids)

What super adorable bird can kill you instantly?
The Rifleman (yes there is a species of super cute very tiny passerine endemic to New Zealand called the Rifleman)

Why would a fox need a TV?
They have their own television network, with channels like Fox News and Fox Life.

Which cat can leave you fatally envenomated?
The puss moth caterpillar

Why are all animals musicians?
They all know how to properly use their organs

Stay tuned for more!!!

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I have never been good at telling puns or jokes, not even in my native language, so I have to look one up. This is from Bestlife:

*What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch? "Well, this is “hawkward”

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I have never been good a telling puns or jokes, even in my native language, so after a quick search I found this one:

What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch? “Well, this is hawkward”

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Why does President Macron only have one egg for breakfast?
Because one egg is enough.

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“Funny”…After posting the pun before jhbratton’s I went to a thrift store to look for a book about nature to read during this coming out-of-the-crazy-ABQ 4th of July weekend. Oddly enough, I found a novel titled “Red-Tails in Love” by Marie Winn. I have never heard of the book and the author. It turned out that it’s about a bunch of naturalists and red-tailed hawks. I felt as if all the hawks that I have seen so far and the other birds that are nesting near the house where I live were whispering: “Buy it! Buy it!” and I did.

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