Taxonomical jokes

Nature Talk
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Here are some jokes I’ve made up that relate to taxonomy:

A malacologist was hawking a newspaper which had an article about a small Malagasy sea snail.
Extra extra, read all about it!

What’s the difference between an ichthyologist and a percussionist?
An ichthyologist classifies a high-hat as a drum.

Two falconers met. “I’m a professional falconer,” said one. “This is my peregrine.”
The other answered, “I’m just an amateur. This is my hobby.”

What fruits in the same family, when multiplied together, give groups of ten?
Pears and quince.

Who is the intermediary between the mudskipper and the sleeper fish?
The goby-tween.

Lanthanidia deliciosa: What the kiwifruit would be if it weren’t so radioactive.

Do you have any taxonomical jokes?

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The meaning of PEREGRINE is having a tendency to wander . Did you know?

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When the American Robin migrates, beware of what falls from above.

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Only one of the lanthanides is radioactive - promethium.

(Fine, it’s not spelled the same way, but whatever…)

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Oh look. Is that a cormorant?

I’m not sure. What about a shag?

No thank you. I’m bird-watching.

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But all the actinides are radioactive.

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:rofl: This one really got me

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Indeed.

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What does a brownsnake do after it dies?

It DeKay’s.

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It’s been a long time since I heard of this snake, but I went straight to [[Storeria]] to look it up.

The legislature was discussing conservation measures for various birds. They passed laws protecting the coot and the corn crake without incident. But when a senator proposed setting aside wetlands for the swamphen, sparks flew.

He had touched the third rail.

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Me too. Really good. It took me over an hour to “get it”; and I’ve been a Museum/field ornithologist for 40+ years. And I did a little raptor rehab/falconry years ago. Ha ha. I really appreciate this one.

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Some scientific names are jokes. A botanist named a previously unnamed North American iris Iris innominata, which means the unnamed iris, which is now its name. (This one annoys me each time I have to add this species to some list.)

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Beachcomber #1, “Did you find anything good?”

Beachcomber #2, “Nope, just trivia.”

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Trivia oops. I wonder how that happened? There may be more, I only checked the first page.

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I think that’s Coffea. They entered coffee and then clicked when they saw coffee bean. The common name of Trivia arctica is the coffee bean trivia.

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