Forgive any emotion here. It has been a difficult week.
I have been growing increasingly unwell feeling over the last few months. Saturday I hit a wall where I admitted to myself I am not OK. Sunday I told my family. Monday I was in the hospital and that evening I had emergency surgery.
I am home now but I am not well. I am unlikely to be well for a long time.
I miss my garden.
I miss my little bees, the Nannotrigona perilampoides with whom I like to identify. They are not flashy. They are small and focused on their work. They are not picky and make do with whatever flowers they encounter. They are stingless but if the pipe in which they live communally is threatened, they work together to swarm quite impressively.
I miss my Condylostylus, the delicate, beautiful flies that come in green and blue and red and gold and sometimes even rainbows. They pose prettily when I speak to them kindly and finding any new color/body/wing combination feels a little thrilling.
I miss my hoppers, my funny little Membracis mexicana that remind me of roosters, the Colpoptera that remind me of koi, the Bolbonata that look like a cross between an acorn and a buffalo, the Two-marked Treehoppers that look like little brontosaurs.
I miss the hummingbirds that feed right beside me and I miss my little owl friend at dawn and dusk.
I miss the soft sway of the Natal Grass, the way Catstongue clings to my clothes and the pups’ fur, the way Solanum erianthum flowers always remind me of tiny banana bunches.
I am so grateful for iNaturalist. I would never have known any of the names, even as I still would have appreciated my garden and its occupants. I just appreciate everyone who has been kind and patient as I stumbled my way through the little bit I have learned. Being able to look at my photos here, seeing past kindnesses, is extremely helpful right now.
I just miss my little garden.
