It was a little unclear, but I think we are on the same page, so to speak!
…and so is the developmental disorder.
The real value in autism and other neurodivergent labels is to be able to access a community of others like you. That has made a huge difference in my life. It is hard to be weird and different all teh time and not realize there are others like me. For instance if the autism label did not exist, this thread would not exist.
I won’t dive down the rabbit hole of function labels and autism copmorbidities here but, yeah, labels can be bad or they can be good. Same as taxonomy. Scientific names are good until the splitters get to them and make them unusable for their purpose, then they are not so good.
Im ADHD I dont really know what to say about it or what exactly is wanted to be shared but one thing I can say is that being ADHD is not easy. Almost every little sound bothers me so in school I listent to music. The one thing that bothers me the most and that I hate being ADHD is that when someone is tapping their had or foot or doing some sort of tapping it breaks me out of my focus cycle.
oh yeah, that is an interesting one.I get a lot of behaviors like that (stims) which can also be a sensory issue for someoen else. And vice versa of course. I named it ‘stimclash’ and awareness and mutual respect and communication can help but that can be really hard especially since it isn’t always desirable or even safe to be openly neurodivergent. And lots of people don’t know.
Some people think its funny to keep doing it when I ask them to stop and then I get really frustrated.
yeah no that’s just bad bullying at that point. Sorry to hear it. No one should knowingly trigger someone’s sensory issues
And probably, some just need the stim so much that they can’t stop. I really don’t know what I would do if my stims triggered someone; possibly resent the person for it.
yeah, i have had that literal thing happen before and i got very upset and horrified. I think the only possible answer for it is more broad awareness and acceptance of neurodivergence and ability to talk openly about it and accommodate each other. Until that time ‘stimclash’ will always occur.
@charlie Thank you so much for this “stimclash” concept. I find certain repetitive actions by others excruciating; they make me feel like I need to run screaming from the room. I feel overcome with shame at being triggered by someone else’s stimming, because I know stimming is so important for some people, is normal/healthy for them, and is 100% not my business. And the therapists I’ve mentioned it to just give me a blank look. I think knowing someone else has experienced stimclash will help me let go of some of the shame and redirect that energy into interacting with the other person in a compassionate and accepting way. I hope, anyway. Thank you so much for making me feel less alone!
Awesome! I used to feel very shamed and terrified if anyone commented on stimming sounds i made, but i also didn’t know what ‘stimming’ even was i just knew i couldn’t help it. If people are open about it, i think stimclash can be addressed on both ends. Like, wearing headphones on the one side and someone trying to swap stims when possible on the other side (they aren’t possible to repress without causing other problems but swapping can work).
I get pretty bad stimclash from my kids (not sure if they are N/D or not but kids make tons of loud stimmy sounds as most young kids do). It’s so hard because i don’tw ant to silence and shame them but the loud loud yelling and screaming just hurts.
Maybe musician’s earplugs - to block the loudest part? I am still thinking about that for my one overworked ear which intensely dislikes LOUD!!
I’m at that stage of life where loud sounds, and noise in general, really aggravate but I haven’t yet lost any of my hearing due to age. I’m thinking of wearing noise-cancelling head phones more often.
This new book by a young author about nature study and autism might be of interest to some:
If the link doesn’t work, google Dara McAnulty and “Diary of a Young Naturalist.”
Wonderful book! He expresses the joy we find in the natural world in a way that really reflects my experience. Highly recommend.
yes great recommendation, i read this right when it came out and loved it
I read that article in the paper and immediately thought of this thread. :)
i wonder if Dara is on iNat :)
Hi Ben, I’m not a Twitter person but Mary Kennedy mentioned that you’d commented about Aphantasia here.
I have zero images in my head and I also have SDAM (Severely diminished Autobiographical Memory). I’m 71 now and only just realized in my mid-60s that others could see things in their heads. I thought counting sheep for example was metaphor.
I take photos obsessively. I find it hard to make ID’s as I cannot visualize things I have seen in books or on-line. If I’ve seen a bird and look away from it to a book, that bird doesn’t exist in my head so unless I can see the book and the actual bird. It makes learning about what I’ve observed very hard.
I think I have an extreme version of Aphantasia.
BTW my adult daughter has recently been diagnozed with Autism.
However I tend to be VERY social and chatty.
Should you wish to chat further Ben your best bet would be to “friend” me on FB.
Autistic extroverts exist! I am one of them!
Thanks for sharing your experiences!