How would aliens classify Earth lifeforms?

Inspired by some of the conversation in this topic >>https://forum.inaturalist.org/t/what-if-cryptids-are-just-naturalists/55603?u=isopodguy

I’m interested in how everybody thinks aliens would classify Earth organisms.
Would birds and people be considered part of the same group because they walk on two legs?
Would hairless cats be classified differently than ordinary cats? Maybe as more reptilian?
Would fish be categorized with cetaceans?
Would they even find any difference between a drone and an insect?

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hmm
i think this would depend on the aliens actually, but ill take a shot at this.

assuming they categorise based on physical features i think it would be pretty similar, maybe with the largest groups below plants/animals being legs vs. no legs- so mammals, most reptiles, birds, insects, etc. in one, and fish, snakes, legless lizards, aquatic mammals, mollusks, etc. in the other. i think anemones, jellies, and similar animals would be grouped with carnivorous plants.

below that i think the groups would be number and type of limbs, so the next groups would be quadrupedal animals, bipedal including apes, winged bipedal, and the insects and arachnids would sort based on wing shape and number/type of legs- mantises and mantisflies would be considered related, as i think they might prioritise legs over wings. crustaceans would be grouped with the arachnids. in the legless group, cetaceans and pinnipeds would get related groups, and fish would be grouped by number of fins. eels would be thought related to snakes, and legless lizards would be in that group too.

after limbs is skin/scales/fur, separatnig animals with fur, scales, feathers, just skin, exoskeletons, etc. so birds, humans, and the other primates would form three subgroups, eels and snakes would be in different groups, and lions would now be separate from elephants, but still with zebras.

next would be diet- herbivores, carnivores, insectivores, omnivores, and scavengers would now form distinct groups- i think this is self explanatory

next is distinct features each animal has down to the diet group- so parrots from finches, elephants from zebras, archerfish from guoramis, etc.

this is where i start running out of ideas… but its a start!
its also my longest post ever lol

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I do think they’d separate animals and plants, that’s pretty obvious (to a human at least).

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They wouldn’t 'cause they ain’t real. Lol

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Y’all better wear them Raynold’s aluminum foil hats. They are coming for ya. :laughing:

Probably some other form of intelligent life exists in this vast universe.

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Yeah, octopus.

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:laughing: lol

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Or Carolina Wrens. They know where to build their nests. The smartest birds.

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If the aliens have advanced enough to have interstellar travel, they most likely have developed their own scientific theory of biological evolution. So they might classify Earth life forms in a similar way as we do, although not using our Linnaean taxonomy. Maybe they would have a better taxonomic system we could adopt.

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This turning into Star Wars chat room.

Yo, they got hyper drive. Darth Vader is their commander-in-chief.

@wvbirder

Lol :laughing:.

Luke Skywalker would be senior lieutenant.

I like the idea that anemones and jellyfish might be classified with carnivorous plants.

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They classify cat with loaf-of-bread sp.

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What a fun thought! I guess it depends, do the aliens in question perceive things similarly to humans? Do they have similar senses, especially sight, which is a big part of how humans classify living things? Also, if they are intelligent enough to classify things, how would their culture impact how they view things, and what do other forms of life where they come from look like? In short, I think it would depend on how the alien lifeform percieves organisms and what they consider important.

If the alien considers scent or chemical composition important to classification, I could see them classifying things a bit differently.

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Perhaps aliens classify lifeforms by height or color.
In that case, I don’t think they’d find much difference between a dead tree and a giraffe.

If they have different senses than people, like say they had no eyes and especially good hearing, they might classify things by what they sound like and things with no sound they might not even think are living.

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Probably classify anime characters with Japanese people [I’m Japanese.]:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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